


Hell Hath No Fury Like a... Valkyrie Queen

by Lamia of the Dark (VisceraNight)



Category: Immortals After Dark - Kresley Cole
Genre: Canon-Typical Speciesism Against Vampires, Domestic Violence, F/M, Humor, Romance, Sexual References, Shuffle Challenge
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-03
Updated: 2020-10-03
Packaged: 2021-03-07 19:49:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 749
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26783194
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VisceraNight/pseuds/Lamia%20of%20the%20Dark
Summary: 10 songs, 10 drabbles, written under standard shuffle challenge rules.(The domestic violence tag is because, unfortunately, this fic involves Furie throwing a lot of things at Kristoff.)
Relationships: Furie/Kristoff (Immortals After Dark)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 4





	Hell Hath No Fury Like a... Valkyrie Queen

**Author's Note:**

> This was originally posted on FFN in 2010, when I was doing a bunch of these as a writer's block busting exercise. 
> 
> Notes, as they appeared in the original: Pairing is Kristoff/Furie. Assume that he rescued her from the bottom of the ocean and she's fully recovered from that experience, but they're still in the "No way am I a fucking leech's Bride!" stage of their relationship. All drabbles in this collection are related to each other, although they will not necessarily be in chronological order.

~ Hell Hath No Fury Like a... Valkyrie Queen ~

\- Toby Keith, "Courtesy of the Red, White, and Blue" -

"GET OUT!" Furie screamed.

"But…" Kristoff protested weakly.

"Go back to your damn castle in Russia and stay there!"

Kristoff remained silent.

"He doesn't want to," Nïx piped up (helpfully?). "He's going to stay here, because you're his bride…"

" _I am NOT a fucking leech's Bride!_ "

* * *

\- Tenacious D, "Wonderboy" -

She was the queen of the Valkyrie. He was the king of the Forbearers.

He rescued her from the bottom of the ocean, and oversaw her recovery.

She still called him a filthy leech and threw things at him at every opportunity.

He let her hit him with things, hoping that it made her feel better.

* * *

\- Young Money f/ Lloyd, "Bedrock" -

Not that Kristoff wasn't _happy_ to have a gorgeous Bride who also just so happened to be a queen… He just wished that she would stop throwing things at him long enough to realize that maybe some of her rage was borne of sexual frustration… and that maybe her handsome vampire would like to help ease her frustrations…

He wasn't sure how much longer he could endure the raging hard-on that he'd had since the moment he first saw her.

* * *

\- Protest the Hero, "Heretics and Killers" -

"Did I miss the paintball tournament?" Garreth MacRieve asked, grinning.

"Ha ha fucking ha," Kristoff snapped. He was covered from head to toe in splotches of brightly-colored paint, but he was sure that with the Lykae's sense of smell Garreth could tell that it was nail polish.

* * *

\- Disturbed, "Perfect Insanity" -

Kristoff had been staying at Val Hall ever since he'd rescued Furie, but today he was back at the Forbearer castle. He just couldn't spend another moment in that place, surrounded by shrieking females, without losing his mind.

Also, he needed to pick up some new clothes anyway. Besides the ones that had paint stains from Furie throwing bottles of nail polish at him, most of his clothes were ruined. Mostly from Furie slashing him with her claws.

* * *

\- Infected Mushroom, "Montoya (Remix)" -

"I don't have time to play games with you forever, you know," he said.

"Good, then leave," she said.

"What with the war going on, and all," he continued as if she hadn't spoken.

"Your point being?"

"Frankly, my dear…" He grabbed her wrist and traced to the Forbearer castle before she had a chance to protest. "I'm kidnapping you."

* * *

\- Linkin Park, "Numb" -

Yes, Furie hated vampires and always had. Yes, she hated them even more for what they'd done to her.

But several of her Valkyrie sisters were Forbearer Brides, and they seemed very happy with their vampire husbands.

And, to tell the truth, she was getting tired of forcing herself to hate Kristoff. He HAD rescued her, after all. And he kept bringing presents…

* * *

\- EVE 6, "There's a Face" -

Kristoff _was_ handsome - Furie couldn't deny that. She often caught her sisters staring at him…

But she wasn't going to give in just because he was nice to look at!

* * *

\- Sarah Bettens, "All Of This Past" -

 _Here I go again, slipping further away, letting go again of what keeps me in place_.

Drowning again. She was sick of this. She had no idea how much time had passed, only that she would give anything to be free of this place.

 _I can see myself, I look peaceful and pale_.

She almost wished she wouldn't wake up this time.

 _Hope is always fear for the pain it may cost_.

And then he was there, setting her free.

And she realized that she should have been careful what she wished for, because she would rather have spent eternity at the bottom of the ocean than be a Bride to a filthy leech, Forbearer or otherwise.

* * *

\- Shadows Fall, "Pure" -

He was constantly searching for the perfect gift, the one she would accept gracefully rather than throwing it back in his face. (Literally.)

He'd given her a jeweled cross once, similar to the one Nikolai had given Myst, and had ended up losing his left eye.

The day after that, he'd given her a bottle of expensive perfume. Which she broke over his head. It stung badly when it went in his still-regenerating eye.

Today, he decided to purchase a fluffy stuffed bunny. He honestly didn't think that Furie would like it, but if he was going to end up getting it thrown in his face no matter what, then he'd prefer something that wouldn't hurt.

~end~

**Author's Note:**

> Notes:
> 
> drabble #1 - Damn, I was typing right to the last second on that one… and didn't manage to get in all the details I was thinking of.
> 
> drabble #2 - Really, Shuffle? REALLY? You HAD to pull that ridiculous song out on me right now?
> 
> drabble #3 - You know this song, it's all over the radio… it goes "I can make your bed rock"… apparently, Shuffle hates me today T.T [I guess it was all over the radio back then, lmao. I haven't heard that song in forever and don't know why I had it on my computer back then.] Had a hard time coming up with anything for this one.
> 
> drabble #4 - I went back and deleted the last couple lines I had written, because they didn't make sense without the part that I ran out of time to write… Basically, the idea is that Kristoff has been trying to win Furie over with gifts, and the latest gift was a bunch of different colors of nail polish (the idea for which was suggested to him by other Valkyrie) but she ended up throwing them at him. :D
> 
> drabble #8 - This one, I nearly ran out of time before I manged to write anything.
> 
> drabble #9 - lyrics in italics.


End file.
